Wibbly Wobbles
by Tirnel
Summary: Grell thinks he's pregnant and tries to convince William, wanting him to do the 'honorable thing' and marry him.
1. Chapter one

Grell awoke one morning, feeling a little off and his stomach doing wibbly wops. He dragged himself downstairs in routine, once again late for breakfast. However, as soon as the smells from the kitchen hit his nostrils, his stomach churned, causing him to rush to the bathroom and vomit. "Grell?" he heard his lover calling from across the house, but Grell was too busy to answer.

Shaking, and pained from the act, Grell slid to the floor to rest a moment. He felt bloated and just plain awful. He placed a hand to his abdomen...and felt movement! Could it be? But how? Oh it didn't matter how, he was pregnant!

Grell pulled himself to his feet and ran towards the kitchen, meeting William in the hallway. "Will! Will!" he shouted excitedly. His face shone with happiness as he threw his arms around William.

"What? What is it?" William replied in between the kisses Grell was plastering on his face, trying not to be disgusted by the acidic smell of vomit on Grell's breath.

"Now is the perfect time!"

"The perfect time for what?"

"Marry me!" Grell shouted happily, wrapping his arms around William.

William wedged a hand between them and pushed Grell away. "I thought we had discussed this."

"Things are different now."

"How so?"

"Well…" Grell paused a moment to toy with his hair. "What if I told you there will soon be three in this household? You would do the honorable thing and marry me, wouldn't you?"

"Are you trying to tell me you're with child?" William asked then sighed, rubbing the bridge if his nose. "Grell…"

"Wouldn't you?"

"Grell…"

"You do love me, don't you?"

"If...and this is a very big if...you were to become pregnant...yes, I would do the honorable thing," replied William.

"We should get married now while my dress still fits." Grell started bouncing up and down and almost immediately regretted it, bolting back into the bathroom.

William sighed heavily and followed him into the bathroom. "First, when you're done with that is brush your teeth and rinse your mouth, especially if you plan on kissing me again. Second should be going to see a doctor and confirming your pregnancy and discussing what steps to take if you are indeed pregnant. Then we shall discuss marriage."

Grell spat out the last bit of bile in his mouth and let out a chuckle. "I have to get a doctor's note to get married."

"Go to the doctor once you're not feeling so nauseous. I'll see that you get today off. You can't work if you're vomiting everywhere or possibly contagious."

"Thank you, darling."

"Thank me by taking care of yourself so you can return to work as soon as possible. Honestly, it was probably the lobster you insisted on eating last night. I told you it smelled off."

"And I say it's all the baby making fluid you've been filling me with since we started dating."

"Honestly. Don't be vulgar." William helped Grell up off the floor and back to their shared bed. "You're more trouble than you're worth."

"Keep telling yourself that, darling," replied Grell as William pressed a kiss to his temple. "You know you love me."

"How unfortunate. I'll have someone check in on you later, if not myself."

William left shortly after. Grell let his hand rest on his stomach and frowned when he didn't feel any movement. Maybe it was the lobster. "No! That's negative thinking! We'll wait and see what the doctor says," Grell said aloud to himself. "Then Will will have to marry me."

William phoned a few hours later to check on Grell, who still felt dreadful. "I feel absolutely awful, darling. My insides are all wibbly wobbly. I haven't been out of bed all day, except to use the bathroom."

"I wish you would go see a doctor. He can give you something for your stomach."

"I will, I will, I promise. Ugh, I just look and feel so awful."

"Well you can either lie in bed and be miserable all day, or you can go and get yourself some help."

"Cruel man."

"I have to get back to work. I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, darling. I love you." Click. Grell smiled at William, who was too embarrassed to return the sentiment where others could hear. Grell laid back against his pillows and sighed. He really should see the doctor, but he hated hospitals. He picked up the receiver again and dialed the London Branch Laboratories. "Hello, get me Othello. Now, you twit, or you'll have my scythe up your arse! I don't care if he's busy. He's probably only playing that stupid game of his and eating sweets anyway." There was a pause while Grell waited for Othello to be fetched. "Hello, Othello, darling! Sweetie, how are you? Me? Why would you ever think...Oh, very well, I need you to come over here. Yes at once. I need a doctor. I know you're not a doctor, but you're close enough. Just get over here and I'll buy you a week's supply in licorice whips. Ugh, fine, a month." *Click*

Othello was over as soon as he could manage, letting himself in. "So, what's the big emergency?" he asked, coming in the room. "Holy jeez! You look awful!" A pillow was thrown at his face in response.

"Let's just get it over with. Just verify I'm pregnant so Will will marry me."

"Just...what?!" Othello exclaimed before doubling over in a guffaw.

"Shut it and just examine me already!"

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a bunch." Grell sat on the edge of the bed and told Othello his symptoms as Othello examined him to the best of his knowledge, involving him leaving to fetch a pregnancy test. Grell waited impatiently for the test to finish. "I can examine you better if you stop fidgeting."

Grell rolled his eyes and did his best to sit still. Othello looked over at the test to see if it was ready. It was, and it read...negative. "Sorry, Grellie-bean, but you are not pregnant."

"What?!" exclaimed Grell in disbelief, snatching up the test and reading it for himself. "But I felt it, the symptoms…"

Othello shrugged. "Gas, maybe?"

"Ladies do not get gassy," denied Grell vehemently.

"Perhaps you should go see a real physician then," suggested Ohello, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Who can tell you without a doubt if you are pregnant."

"Will you go with me?" Grell asked

"I suppose," replied Othello. He helped Grell with his grooming until Grell was what he considered 'passable'.

Some time later, the two exited the medical wing. Grell leaned on Othello, crestfallen. "Food poisoning," he sobbed. "Just a case of food poisoning. Now I have to wait who knows how long until Will is ready to marry me, which could be centuries! I'll be an...an old maid!" Grell said in horror.

"Unless…" began Othello, the wheels of his mind turning.

"Unless what?"

"Unless you don't tell him you're not pregnant."

"Huh? What the devil are you on about?"

"Just pretend to be pregnant. Convince him you're expecting and boom, you're married before you know it."

"But what happens after, when he finds out I'm not really pregnant? He'll divorce me out of spite. And besides, he wanted a note from the doctor."

"I can forge you a note from the doctor, don't worry about that. As for afterwards, I don't know. We'll think of something."

Grell didn't bother to pick up his prescriptions from the doctor and returned to bed, still sick to his stomach, figuring it would help sell the pregnancy lie. William came home promptly at six thirty p.m. and went in to Grell. "Darling," Grell greeted with a smile.

"How is your stomach?" William asked, hanging up his suit jacket.

"Oh, much better!" He lied, sitting up. "I just thought I should rest for a little bit. After all, I have to be a lot more careful now."

William raised an eyebrow in interest. "And why is that?" he asked, undoing his tie and sliding it from his collar.

"You know why, silly," Grell smiled. "As a mother, I want to take the utmost care with my pregnancy. Should I learn to knit?"

"You saw the doctor?"

"Of course. Here," Grell picked up the "results" from the bedside table Othello delivered before William got home. William took it and read it over, noticing the scent of cheap aftershave and clove cigarettes. Also there was a small sticky spot in the top left corner. Licorice?

Othello.

William sighed. He was too tired to for this. Taking out his cigarettes, he lit one up and took a puff. "William!" Grell shouted in a horrified manner. "You can't smoke around the baby!"

William sighed again, leaving the room and wondering why he put up with the redhead's antics. Grell obviously knew what William had suspected all along, that he just had food poisoning. If Grell was pregnant, William would marry him, he had promised. So now Grell was pretending to be pregnant to force the marriage. Just how long did he think he could get away with it?

There were so many reasons not to marry yet, but Grell was too impatient. It was too soon. William was still getting used to all of Grell's personal habits, and vice versa. If William had had his own way, they wouldn't even be living together yet, but Grell had been so damn persistent and they ended up practically living together anyway that William gave in. Then there upper management to deal with. They already frowned on the relationship. He and Grell should wait until their positions would not incite conflicts of interests, any more than they were.

And there were other things too, not all of which William could pinpoint. He just...wasn't ready to marry Grell. However, Grell didn't want to wait, so hung up on the spectacle of it all, he couldn't take no for an answer, or at the very least, a not yet. It was so frustrating, William wondered why he bothered with the relationship. He frowned, finishing his cigarette and stamping the butt out. It was because he loved him too much, despite his bothersome behaviors.

William prepared Grell some toast and put some ice chips in a glass for him. His lover likely hadn't eaten all day and this should help. He just hoped this charade would be short lived.


	2. ch 2

"Darling~," Grell cooed from the doorway. William looked up to see his lover holding a paper sack. "Lunch time." Grell came over to sit beside him while Willian cleared a spot on the desk.

"Over your morning sickness?" he asked dryly.

"What? Oh, oh yes, thanks, darling." Grell took out a sandwich for William. He waited for William to start unwrapping his sandwich before taking out a jar of pickles and a tub of ice cream. William watched in wonderment as Grell opened each, took a pickle, dipped it in the ice cream and ate it. "Mm," Grell feigned sounds of delight at the bizarre dish and took another bite. "Mm, you know what this needs?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Sardines. Sardines would be perfect."

"Would you like me to fetch you some sardines?" William asked, hiding his disgust.

"No, no, dear, you eat," Grell replied. William watched as Grell continued to eat pickles in ice cream. If only his lover was so dedicated in his work.

"All that sugar can't be healthy for the baby. It'll only make you fat," said William and handed Grell his sandwich. "I'd rather you eat this. I'll get something from the cafeteria."

"If you insist, darling," replied Grell, not wanting to take another bite of his own food.

"I do," he said firmly, getting up. "I'll be back soon."

"What next?" William muttered as he picked up a meal from the cafeteria. Just how far did Grell plan on taking this? Though exasperating as it was, William was partially intrigued as to what crazy scheme Grell would come up with next. If Grell was really pregnant, he should start showing soon, if not already be showing, even if only a little.

Othello was having the exact same thoughts and was already devising plans to keep up with the illusion. "You'll have to not go naked around him for this to work. Which means, no sex," he explained to Grell as soon as he had the first faux baby bump ready.

"What?!" exclaimed Grell. "We can have sex with our clothes on!" he added desperately.

Othello shook his head. "Too risky. Unless you want to call it quits?"

"No way! William is on the verge of proposing, I can feel it!"

"Suit yourself," replied Othello with a shrug then helped Grell apply the fake belly. Grell wondered how long it would take William to notice.

He had noticed, but he had been too busy contemplating any diminutive possibility that Grell was pregnant, even though he knew it impossible, to bring it up. He finally shook the idea from his head and wondered what Grell and his cohort had concocted to enable this deception. He wondered how long Grell thought he could pull this off.

"Darling," cooed Grell one evening as they relaxed in their living room.

"What is it?" came the emotionless reply as William kept his nose in the book he was reading.

"Do you…notice anything…different about me?" Grell asked demurely, trying to sound sweet and delicate.

"Not particularly. Did you do your hair differently or something?"

"No, silly, look," he said, positioning himself to best display the little bump. "Look, darling, our child is growing." William refrained from rolling his eyes. "Isn't it time you asked me to marry you?"

"Does your dress still fit?" William asked.

Grell hesitated. "It should. I can let it out a little."

"Let's see then…" said William, taking out a calendar. "We would want ample time off for a proper honeymoon, lest I hear the end of it. As it happens, I have plenty of time I can take off. You, however…you used the last of your time off and went over when you became pregnant. I'm afraid you wouldn't be approved for any time off for quite some time."

"N-not even for such a special occasion?" William shook his head. "We can go on a honeymoon later, let's get married."

William again shook his head. "It's not a good time. I have new recruits coming in, meetings with upper management…what do you say about next June? A lot of brides like to marry in June."

"But..but the baby will have been born by then!"

"Then he or she can be a part of the wedding party. Wouldn't you like that?"

"I..uh...yes," said Grell hesitantly, though clearly he wasn't happy with that.

"I'll tell you what, I can try to arrange for us to have some time off before then. No guarantees, mind you. If I can, we can get married sooner. Agreed?"

Grell nodded slowly in response. He couldn't understand why William was being so stubborn about this. He had promised to marry him, so they should get married. Grell didn't know how further he could take this, even with Othello's help. "Whatever you think is best, darling," said Grell softly.

William was most curious as to know how those two managed to pull off what could only be a fake belly. There was no way it could be real. Feeling uncharacteristically mischievous, William set aside his book and went over to Grell who had plopped down in an unladylike manner onto the couch to sulk. Taking Grell by the hand, he pulled him to his feet and into his arms, dipping him slightly as he bestowed a passionate kiss upon his lover's lips.

"W-will?" a stunned Grell responded as his head came down a little out of clouds from where the kiss had sent him. "

"I've been a little standoffish lately," said William in as sexy of a voice as he could muster. "I want to make it up to you." William placed a gentle hand on Grell's false belly and slowly, sensually, slid downwards.

Grell hurriedly pulled from William's grasp and backed away. "N-not tonight, darling," said Grell regretfully. He hated to deny his lover like this. "I'm...I'm not in the mood tonight."

"Are you sure?" asked William, a little surprised that Grell Sutcliff had refused sex with him.

"Yes, I'm sure," Grell lied. "B-besides, we should wait and make sure it's safe and everything for the baby. Given the circumstances, we should check with the doctor first." Grell fiddled with his bangs as he spoke, which typically indicated he was being dishonest or hiding something.

So Grell didn't want William to find out the belly was false, he surmised. So much so that he was refusing sex. This meant no sex for either of them and while William could be content to go without sex, he didn't fancy the idea of his partner doing it just to continue this farce to manipulate William. No, that didn't sit well with him at all.

Perhaps it was time to put an end to this farce. It may be a little underhanded, but William thought he has the perfect plan of how to do so. He spent about a week planning it. So it was, when Grell came home the night William enacted his plan, his redheaded lover was met with an unexpected surprise.

Grell walked up to the front door, wondering why William didn't wait so they could walk home together. He walked inside the house and was met with the dim glow of several candles and rose petals that littered the floor, leading upstairs and also towards the living room. As Grell stepped further into the house, wondering what was going on, William appeared offering to take his coat. William helped him off with his coat and took him by the arm, escorting him to the dining room where a plate of spaghetti and a glass of wine waited for Grell. More petals littered the dining room and the candelabra was lit, basking the room in a romantic glow.

"Well, well, what is this?" asked Grell with a grin as William pulled the chair out for him.

"A special night for a special...lady," replied William. Grell noticed there was only a setting for one, but before he could ask, William took up his violin and began playing a soft romantic piece. Grell was dumbstruck and it took him a moment to find his voice.

"Darling, you're so romantic tonight. How unlike you."

"I wanted to show my love to the mother of my child," he answered simply. William played on while Grell dined. Grell knew William had to be up to something, but he could not fathom what. Perhaps he really did just want to uncharacteristically pamper him. So Grell allowed his lover to wine and dine him. Sans the wine. As much as he would have loved to drink that delicious looking wine in front of him, he needed to keep up appearances. Honestly, William should have known better.

When Grell had set aside his silverware and dabbed his mouth with his napkin, indicating he was finished, William laid aside his instrument and offered his hand which Grell took. He led Grell to the bathroom where he drew him a warm bath, filling it with bubbles and oils and scattered some rose petals about. "I'll let you relax by yourself. Read a book," he said, closing the door as he left the room.

Grell sat down on the edge of the tub and picked up the book that sat there, reading the cover. "The Tale of Will the Reaper", it read. "Oh you sweet, beautiful man," murmured Grell, feeling horribly guilty for once about something he had done and done to the person her loved the most, apart from himself.

Grell turned off the tap and exited the bathroom. "I don't feel like a bath," he said upon William's questioning gaze.

"Very well," said William. "Let's move onto the main event." He cleared his throat and turned on some music. The song was one William would consider 'obscene' and not at all to his tastes. Regardless, he began to move his body somewhat stiffly in clearly what was supposed to be a 'sexy dance'. He started with his tie, undoing it, sliding it off slowly, before giving it a toss across the room.

Grell almost wanted to laugh at his unnatural movements, however, he more found it oddly endearing and quite arousing. Then again, the two had not lain together for several months. It wouldn't take much for Grell to get all hot and bothered. William could stand on his head and quack like a duck and he would probably get a hard on.

He was mesmerized by William's strip tease, watching the blazer, followed by his waistcoat fall to the floor. Next, the shirt was slowly unbuttoned. Grell's erection growing with every button unbuttoned as more of the beautifully toned chest of his lover was revealed. Grell couldn't take it any longer and shoved William onto the bed, disrobing as fast as he could. The fake pregnancy belly was ripped off and tossed aside. He yanked off William's pants before dropping his own to his ankles and was pushing in as quickly as he dared, not wanting to injure his lover due to his impatience.

"You know I hate it when you do that," said William with a cold stare, looking up at Grell. Grell grinned in response, beginning to move and quickly building speed. He was a hot horny mess who wanted his turn in the driver's seat before surrendering himself to William. "Too rough," said William, but Grell ignored him. "Too rough!" he repeated more sternly. Grell continued to ignore him and increased his speed and his roughness, holding William down by his hips.

"Oh, yes, darling!" Grell shouted as he climaxed, his head tossed back. With a Cheshire grin, he looked down at his lover who looked back at him coldly.

William shoved Grell off of him forcefully. "I've been a bad girl," Grell simpered with a small voice. "I need to be punished for being so horrid to you."

"You should be punished and I should deny you just as you have denied me. However, seeing how you have already used mine for your pleasure, I may as well use you for mine." William spoke in a cold, dark tone that sent shivers of delight down Grell's spine. "But do not mistake for one moment that I won't make you suffer for it," he growled, reaching for the lube.

"Oh, I'm counting on it, darling," Grell purred. "Move your fingers like that again and I'll never bother you with the subject of marriage again."

"Promise?" asked William, moving slowly and teasingly.

"Mmmmm, yes."

"Good," he said, moving his fingers in the same fashion again. "But you're still going to be punished."

"Please~! Please~!"

Notes:

OK. This was trash. I apologize for this crap.


End file.
